confession

remember this day. when you finally confessed your feelings. just remember: don't say the words via SMS. it's truest when you say it to her face... through her heart. syet, ang cheezy ko na. proweba ng totoong pag-ibig?

ouch

is it just me? or am i in love in a very different way than before? maybe because i always had daydreams of her becoming my wife, the mother of my kids. i always think of it that way these days. i had never felt like this before. probably that's why it hurts so much that she's turning away, pretending to be busy when she's actually not. i dunnow. since the beginning of this year, i know something will happen between us. and it did. the spark came back. a day didn't pass since january 1st that i wasn't thinking about her. how she cooked for me last 15th, how she taught me stuff in the kitchen, how i helped her clean up the mess, how i felt like her husband. how i felt like we were married. no one in my dating list in the past had done this to me before. this is bullshit, im not finishing this until after we finally meet again. gtg.

Thickie bookie becomes hefty money!

Have you ever had a college textbook so big, heavy and thick that you want to end the semester so badly so you can finally get rid of it from your life? I spent two semesters after I was able to shelve it for it to rot. I thought it would be there forever. But I was wrong. The universe wants that bulky University Physics book not to be rotten, but to be sold! I was a newbie at Sulit.com.ph when I thought of selling my old books. I got my camera, took really nice pictures of those books so they'd look as if new and posted them right away. After a few days, I already got several private messages! Including one inquiry for my treasured Physics book. Yes, "treasured" with respect to the future. Because after I and the buyer finally met-up somewhere in campus, I was surprised that he gave me more than the price I indicated in Sulit.com.ph! Yes, I was really "sur-priced"! (Pun defined: surplus + price) It was even higher than the original bookstore price! Of course, I was a little hesitant at first, being the introvert me and all. But eventually our transaction was done and my hands took those crunchy-looking paper bills, being the money-greedy me and all. Hahaha.

By the way, the buyer was a dad of a Science-major kid whom I suspect to be affluent since they had a car and paid me a rather hefty amount for an old book. While his son was browsing through the book and checked if it's the real thing, I couldn't help being sentimental for a moment. The book was indeed useful to me. It was nice. Really user-friendly, easy to read, and really helped me all throughout my physics courses. It was my best physics buddy. I realized the fact that I didn't slice it into thinner parts (which some of my classmates did) made it more valuable to me in the past. But now, it has a new owner. And as of today, as I think of it, it may be stuck in one dusty bookshelf since it's been two years since I sold it. It may be kept inside a box full of unused stuff. It may be borrowed or bought by someone. I don't know. And the money I had when I sold it was gone, too, of course. So I guess this blog's the only reminder that "University Physics" existed in my life, plus a couple of old notes lying in my cupboard. I've thrown everything else that's physics-related. (A moment of silence)

Despite of it all, I think the best part was that I was able to help somebody, in exchange for a sum of money, that is. Help in terms of letting someone have a physical material that's gonna be really useful. Also, some form of financial help for me. Thanks Sulit.com.ph for letting me do both. It was really one of my memorable transactions. Not only that it was sentimental to me, it was the time when I experienced the efficient and convenient online trade brought by Sulit.com.ph. All smiles! ü

Earthquake

Intensity 4 hits QC, says PHIVOLCS.

All the while I thought I just got dizzy from riding two long jeepney rides from work. I was wrong. I didn't actually asked myself "Is this an earthquake?"

Then people came posting on facebook: "lindol" and "earthquake" were very noticeable indeed. I was shocked to have known it was a real one. I was closer to earth than any of them. I'm in the basement of a college dorm! I thought, had that quake been close to magnitude 9 or 10, maybe I ain't here anymore, blogging, facebooking, emailing, etc. Perhaps I'd been burrowed - real deep.

Thank you God! You are my savior! It could have been worse. But You were protecting me, all of us. We were right that no one and nothing is equally powerful with you - not even Mother Nature. The Earth is trembling, but You didn't allow it to inflict damage among us. You are SO mighty. Thank you, again.

While the Earth rests beneath us today, let us be reminded that we are just tenants - Our Lord God is our land owner. Let us call upon Him, when our houses are shaken.

Business School Wishful Thinking

I'm beginning to lose hope. Entering business school may the toughest decision I have to make so far in this very solitude-prone life. I want to work THERE. But I want to be a pilot. I risked my dreams before. I didn't get it. Because I was stupid to think about being pursuant and reluctant. Immaturity might be one lame reason. I probably suggested it to myself a long time ago. But I didn't. Now, I'm on another shitty crossroad full of shit. I felt that God is loving me these days but that sure is not a sign for me to be complacent. No to complacency! I know I don't have to be overly confident about how things in my life are going right now. God is like, showing me signs of entering either business school or a tourism institute. But what the... I can't choose! Dreams over wants, or wants over dreams? What is it that I want, anyway?

I feel very troubled. Like the river, unknowingly flowing to some random ocean that's as deep as none of us could ever imagine. But inside me, something tells me I mustn't give up. As long as life is full of shit, there is plenty of shit to clean, and all will be so well again. I need not to worry much, I just need to worry a little, give my self a little respect it deserves.

To B or not to B? To business school, or not to business school? That is the question...

FaceBUKING

What kind of an FB user are you? Here is a study on how Pinoys’ lives have been turned around by this popular social networking site…

By RONALD S. LIM

March 16, 2010, 1:57pm

A decade ago, declaring that you had “poked” somebody online would have carried a very different meaning and draw out a violent reaction.

A couple of years ago, engaging in a Mafia War would have gotten you a visit from the police; while planting crops on a farm would not be a young Filipino’s idea of entertaining himself on a lazy afternoon.

But ever since Facebook rose to prominence in the country in 2009, when Filipino Facebook users increased from four million to almost six million in number, the way with which we pass our time online and connect with friends and family has changed drastically – and dramatically.

We now “tag” photos we’d like to share rather than send out copies. Relationships begin and end on this social networking site. Even the spread of humor and rumor can be accomplished with a simple status message!

The pervasiveness of Facebook in the lives of everyday Filipinos is what brought it to the attention of the UP College of Mass Communication’s (UP-CMC) Department of Communication Research, which made it the focus of the College’s 13th Department Extension Research Project (DERP) entitled “FaceBUKING: Uncovering Filipino Culture in Facebook”.

The DERP studies key issues related to mass communication, and provides an avenue for the hands-on application of research applications and techniques.

The Communications Research students who conducted the study spent December 2009 and January 2010 glued to Facebook, gathering information through surveys, content analysis of users’ “walls,’’ as well as focus group discussions with users.

The students sought to answer two questions: What are Filipinos’ perceptions on and attitudes toward Facebook? How do Filipino Facebook users “Filipinize” Facebook?

CURRENT EVENTS ON FACEBOOK

For the most part, Filipinos appear to have a keen and pragmatic view of what role Facebook plays in their daily lives.

The group’s findings show that Filipinos use Facebook to maintain relationships rather than initiate new ones, and accept friends based on the quality rather than quantity of their relationship.

Almost half of the study’s respondents also maintain Facebook accounts to express themselves through content that they make themselves; to make known socio-political concerns that they want addressed; and keep up with current events, especially with regards to the coming election.

“A majority of the study’s respondents agree that Facebook is an effective tool to help young people get to know their electoral candidate better. A discussant at the focus group discussions shared that Facebook is helpful because it has made her aware of the failures of certain political candidates,” says May Ann Acasio, one of the students who conducted the study.

PRIVACY CONCERNS

The issue of one’s privacy, which in recent weeks have become the focus of the ire of international Facebook users, is also a concern. However, most Filipino users regard the protection of their privacy as their responsibility and not the site’s concern.

“Sixty-eight percent of the respondents think that they are personally responsible for their wall posts and believe that they should exercise caution when posting. A lot of them are concerned about what others will think,” reveals group member Jihad Mariano.

The study also reveals that 62 percent of the respondents feel that their profiles accurately reflect their character and personality.

THE SIX TYPES

The UP-CMC study categorizes the Filipino Facebook users into six types:

THE (FACE)BOOKWORM. These are users who are always updated on the people on their Facebook network, incessantly checking and reading status updates.

PAIMPORTANTE. These are users with a constant stream of status updates on their lives, utilizing the site like an online diary or planner.

IKAW NA ANG BAD TRIP. These are users who use their status messages as a venue to vent and rage about their everyday life.

APPDATED. These are users who only log in to engage in Mafia Wars, harvest crops in Farmville, and serve customers on Café World.

NAG FACEBOOK KA PA. These are users who use the site only to connect with friends and do not utilize Facebook’s unique features like applications and chatting.

PAPANSIN. These are users who post status messages – whether positive or negative – directed at other people, without explicitly naming who these people are.

The study says these six types are not only reflective of the kinds of Filipino users Facebook has, but how these same Filipino users have “filipinized” Facebook and made it their own.

The (Face)bookworm, for instance, reflect positive and negative sides of the Filipinos: our spirit of bayanihan and our sense of rumor.

“Facebook has allowed Filipinos to post and repost cause-oriented messages during times of crisis and emergencies, such as during Ondoy and Pepeng,” explains Acacio. “But we also like to gossip; it is a national past time. We like to make tsismis anywhere and anytime, and with Facebook, we can even do it online.”

The fact that a majority of Filipino Facebook users value how the site allows them to connect with friends and family and maintain existing friendships also reflect the importance that our society places on close family ties.

FILIPINIZED FACEBOOK

UP-CMC dean Roland Tolentino commended the project, saying it reveals how Facebook has changed Filipinos and how Filipinos have changed it in turn.

“Ang FaceBUKING ay isang pambibisto sa mga ideya, praktis, at phenomenon ng panahong ito. Kung bakit ang WiFi ng kolehiyo ay isa sa pangunahing ginagamit para sa pangangailangang makakunekta, lagpas sa usual na paraan ng SMS,” he ends. “Mas maraming updates ang sinasaad, mas maraming praktis at kalakaran, mas maraming pangangailangan at responsibilidad. Sa FaceBUKING, muling pinatutunayan ng kolehiyo na nangunguna ito sa napapanahon at makabuluhang pananaliksik at pagsusuri ng mga isyung pang-komunikasyon.”

Four hours of sleep

No classes today! Thanks to that mighty EDSA revolution. School's super empty. As I was walking past KHAS Food Center.. then the Chapel... the whole place looks so zeroed out.

I spent an hour at a computer shop, ate lunch and bought some food supply for the week. Come 12 noon and I'm asleep! Zzzzz...

I dreamt I was eating with Kalipips. First I was in front of Joemy, across the table. No, it was Honey first. She was bitching me. She wuz lookin' at my face then she was drastically commenting on my skin. She said it was dull and my cheek bones are a mess. As if hers was perfect! Then there was Joemy. I dunno if they've switched places or something, but he was as mean as Honey. I forgot what bitchy things he said to me. All I remember was that when I've reached my maximum annoyance level, I threw my food to him and hit his chest. His clothes were filled with... chopsuey. Yeah, that was what I was eating. And he stared furiously at me for a bit and gnarled the hateful things. I can't actually member the exact words he spilled but I think it's about me having no friends. I was rude and selfish and impulsive. Well, I hope I knew what this dream meant.

It's six in the afternoon/evening. I better get going. I have racket, y'know. =)