ouch

is it just me? or am i in love in a very different way than before? maybe because i always had daydreams of her becoming my wife, the mother of my kids. i always think of it that way these days. i had never felt like this before. probably that's why it hurts so much that she's turning away, pretending to be busy when she's actually not. i dunnow. since the beginning of this year, i know something will happen between us. and it did. the spark came back. a day didn't pass since january 1st that i wasn't thinking about her. how she cooked for me last 15th, how she taught me stuff in the kitchen, how i helped her clean up the mess, how i felt like her husband. how i felt like we were married. no one in my dating list in the past had done this to me before. this is bullshit, im not finishing this until after we finally meet again. gtg.